Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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