You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
