Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
