Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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