I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
