I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
