u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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