I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
