i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
