I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize