If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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