are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it was like his penis was on wheels.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
