How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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