don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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