Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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