My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
