how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize