i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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