that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
