so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
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I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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