we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
