Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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