I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Michael Bay diarrhea
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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