Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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