Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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