clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
