How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
After tacos, we're chasing women.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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