The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
