No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
