I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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