I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dick very happy bro
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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