Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
