just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
