Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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