Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
