I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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