You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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