respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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