i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
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She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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