It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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