Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
