so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
