Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
