Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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