My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
