girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
