yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I yelled at your uterus for you.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
