White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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