But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
