I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
