everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
