At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
