Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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