Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize