im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize