As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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