she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
