if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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