There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's always time for handjobs
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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