i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
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She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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