Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
